Here is one thought that I have that “makes a man.” Being Fearless. There are a lot of people in this world that walk in the shadow of fear…but this post is actually about love.
I’ve been thinking about love – could it be that Valentines Day is this week? Yeah, probably.
I’m going to tell you my love story. What was I looking for in a man?
Love to me was always something different from the novels and movies about “love.” It was never a crazy feeling of infatuation. Of course I had feelings of infatuation before – but I am remarkable good at ignoring those – I like to take the logical approach. The times in my life I felt infatuated with a guy – I usually told him how I felt with the reasoning that he would do one of two things 1) date me, so I could figure out if I really liked him 2) go running in the opposite direction and save me some wasted time. It was a wonderful system.
The first time I decided that I was ‘in love’ with someone, I was 23 years old. We were very good friends – who started spending more and more time together – because we really enjoyed one another’s company. It eventually got to the point where he asked me how I felt about having 12 kids…..with him.
I’m a nice Mormon girl, always have been, and this particular young man was a nice – non Mormon – guy. He invited me to meet his family. His family didn’t treat me well. Here I was willing to forgo the Temple marriage I had always expected would occur with a nice Mormon boy for this non Mormon boy who I felt was the best thing to ever happen to me and his family of “super Christians” treated me as unwelcomed. Yeah, some “Christians” still haven’t worked out the part about being “Christ-like.” I was still willing to stay with this nice non- Mormon boy, but he didn’t stand up for me and would just say, “they’re crazy.” I don’t like being treated poorly. I made it easy for him to choose, I left.
Now, my understanding of being “A Man” takes into account what mother thinks – but, if you love a woman, you leave your mother and father and “cleave unto your wife.”
So, painful as life was waiting for a Man to come around – there were so many wonderful things I was able to do during that time.
I’m always grateful for that missed opportunity in my life to not marry a boy. Life is full of missed opportunities – for our benefit or our misery. I waited for love to find me and he did.
When I did meet my future husband, as handsome as he is, I didn’t not have immediate infatuation for him. I considered him my acquaintance, then friend and that’s where our love began. I have been blessed with generous and kind In-Laws, but had they been antagonistic towards me – my husband would have renounced his parents and married me anyway, because he is a Man.