My mom frequently tried to teach me skills when I was a teenager, she would say things like, “Katie, you need to learn how to cook, so you can feed a family some day.” I told her I didn’t want a family, I wanted an important career. She told me that made her very sad to hear.
I didn’t have many expectations for life, I always assumed that what I wanted didn’t matter anyway, that what would happen to me was fate.
What I didn’t realize then was, that I had the choice. I could make of my life what I wanted and I didn’t have to do what anyone wanted me to do.
I had some confusing years – doing what I thought I had to do, because it was what I thought was “the right thing to do.” Boy, if I could go back in time and tell my self what a load of malarky that was.
All along though, I struggled with the concept of marriage and family. I was scared and thought, “I can’t do that, it’s hard.”
I told myself I “wouldn’t be a good mom” or “I’d be bored out of my mind”
I told myself that I was going to do great things with my life.
I got married, and it was hard. It was hard figuring out that I needed someone to help me be a better person.
Then came motherhood and I was right, it was hard too.
In the last year and a half, I’ve realized that I am doing great things. I can’t accurately express the wonder and joy of watching a child grow, my child. I love watching him learn new things, I love hearing him say new words. My heart melts when he says, “mama” or “daddy” and I am so happy that I didn’t become the person I had envisioned myself at sixteen.
Spending time with my son is the least boring job I’ve ever had. In fact, it is the best job I have ever had. Since having my son, I have not once thought, “ugh I don’t want to go to work today.” I love being a mom so much that each day blends right into the next and time races by.
What do I do all day?
Uh, laundry, prepare food, naps, walks…stuff. I do the monotonous things weekly, but each day is a new adventure.
Nap time is coming to an end…so likewise I will end my post.
So here is to all the girls/women out there who are afraid of motherhood, it’s just my two cents.