Thoughts On Valentines, My Valentine, Love?

I’m bombarded at every store by Valentines – “your sweetheart will LOVE and CHerish this cuddly plush toy” “eat sugar” “BUY BUY BUY”

First, I don’t need Valentines to tell me to eat chocolate, um k?

I love fresh flowers, but that stuffed animal will eventually end up at Goodwill or as a chew toy for my dog.

But what the Valentine season has got me thinking about is love.

Just got engaged a few days prior to my birthday party (roaring 20's)...Danny was a bit more shy those days.
Just got engaged a few days prior to my birthday party (roaring 20’s)…Danny was a bit more shy those days and I was a bit less pregnant.

You may find this hard to believe, but I wasn’t smitten with my husband right away. Yes, he was attractive to me, but I was looking for something more than just attraction, I was looking for mutual respect and a friendship that would last for all time.

I was kinda annoyed at Dan the day we took our engagement photos...
I was kinda annoyed at Dan the day we took our engagement photos…it was so important, that I have NO IDEA what it was that made me annoyed. Now that is important.

I knew, that my husband was totally committed to me. That when life got hard and trials came, he would work through them with me. We were in this “life boat” together come wrinkly skin and expanding waste lines.

He did what he does now, he talks to me about how I'm feeling until I feel better.
He did what he does now, he talks to me about how I’m feeling until I feel better. (Thanks to Misti Lee for taking these photos).

It seems to me, that too many couples these days just say, “we just fell out of love.” Really? You just stopped loving that person? Or those magical feelings just died?

Love.  Thanks Katy Colver for the beautiful photos.
Love.
Thanks Katy Colver for the beautiful photos.

Love is not just attraction or magical feelings when you look at someone (those will fade in certain circumstances or place in life).

I was much happier this second round of photos. I also happened to be leaving for the UK the next morning....
I was much happier this second round of photos. I also happened to be leaving for the UK the next morning….

Love can start with attraction or admiration, but Love lasts by effort.

But this guy was waiting for me when I got home. a few weeks later we got married.
But this guy was waiting for me when I got home.
a few weeks later we got married.

Love is doing the small things that make your spouse happy, even if you don’t like going out of your way to do them (because it is inconvenient to what you want or what you are doing). It is being considerate of how they feel, even when you feel strongly about the opposite. Love doesn’t give up when pride stands between you.

In the voice of Ursula the Sea Witch (Disney's The Little Mermaid), "together, forever...."
In the voice of Ursula the Sea Witch (Disney’s The Little Mermaid), “together, forever….” Or maybe more like the Turtles, “So Happy Together…”

Love is a choice – occasionally it feels harder to make – but I still choose to love my husband.  In hindsight, I look back and realize he loves me when I am hard to love and that makes me love him more (and vice versa).

I love him more when, in the early morning hours, he gets out of bed to get our crying son.

I'm not going anywhere...or should I say, I'm always going to be riiiiiiiight here?
I’m not going anywhere…or should I say, I’m always going to be riiiiiiiight here?

I love him more when he fathers our son – there is nothing cuter than to sit and watch my husband prepare food, feed and wipe the face of our little boy.

The surprises in our marriage have come from taking a risk on someone I liked a lot – who I didn’t REALLY know – married him and had a child, went through a miscarriage and now a third pregnancy.

He’s a total keeper.

and so is this guy…..

Happy Valentines Day – may you find love amongst your family and /or friends.

One thought on “Thoughts On Valentines, My Valentine, Love?

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