What other cool things can I teach my kids?

These brothers love each other so much - every morning Wiley asks where Tyler is.
These brothers love each other so much – every morning Wiley asks, “where is baby Tyler?”

Parents teach by example…sometimes the things I say to my children, get said back to me. Sometimes, my kid is just funny.  Well, I think he is funny.

Wiley couldn't be bothered to look away from the cartoons.
Wiley couldn’t be bothered to look away from the cartoons…but he did smile for me.

I don’t let my kids drink the bath water – because that’s gross – and I sometimes say, “Wiley, don’t drink the bath water, it will give you diarrhea.”

Around 11pm (he had long been put to bed), he wanders into my room.
Around 11pm (he had long since been put to bed), he wanders into my room.

So in the last week, I caught Wiley going through my purse (like he usually does) and since I haven’t yet replaced the pack of gum he is always stealing, he was exploring other pockets.

stuffed himself into a bee costume for a 6-9 month old. Then sits down to meditate.
stuffed himself into a bee costume for a 6-9 month old. Then sits down to meditate.

He found the hand sanitizer, had removed the entire lid and was licking the mouth of the bottle. I shrieked, just as his face was souring from the taste, “Wiley, spit that out!”

I took him to the the bathroom to rinse his tongue over the sink, “Wiley we don’t put strange things into our mouths, it can make you sick.” I’m flushing his mouth with water and as a handful of water falls from his mouth he shouts, “I’m going to get diarrhea!”

This guy practically puts himself to bed.
This guy practically puts himself to bed.

I laughed, I can’t stop laughing yet, it’s too funny to me.

Our own personal bounce house...and reading nook.
Our own personal bounce house…and reading nook.

This week Danny and I had our Temple recommend interviews at the church, Danny was already there for weekly Scouts and I brought the boys.  While I was waiting for Danny to meet up with us, I got the boys out of the van – it feels like about 50% of the time – our sliding doors won’t work and I’m left heaving to get the side doors to open and close, “ahh, piece of junk,” I grimaced. Wiley was barely paying attention, or so I thought, he was throwing rocks from the sidewalk into the parking lot.

After leaving the interviews, it was dark, Wiley was denied ice cream (misbehaving and therefore ineligible for a treat) and the van doors started beeping on our drive home (like they usually do). I said, “so annoying,” to which I hear from the back seat, “piece of junk.”

Loves his Ninja Turtle Towel.
Loves his Ninja Turtle Towel.

I don’t regularly turn the car stereo on while I drive, I like the quiet.  Wiley requested some “cool music” on our drive back from the church one night, I started singing Disney princess songs (I missed my calling in life??) and Wiley complained, “I’m not a princess, I’m a little boy.”

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I laughed and said aloud to myself, “I’m not a princess, I’m a little boy.” Wiley then called from the back seat, “no, you’re not a little boy, you’re a princess.”

See, even my kid can see I am a princess.

Caught going through my purse...for the ump-teenth time.
Caught going through my purse…for the ump-teenth time.

Since the boys spend the majority of their time with me, they’re bound to be my parrots…I try to be careful (because sometimes less than stellar things come out of my mouth).

Although, I’m pretty pleased at some of the results.

I was only on the phone for 15 minutes with my mom. Normally I'd refold everything again, but I didn't feel like it after this.
I was only on the phone for 15 minutes with my mom. Normally I’d refold everything again, but I didn’t feel like it after this.

Last night, after Wiley draped his Lightning McQueen blanket over my chest, he looked up at me and said, “Mom, you look, you look ter..ter.. terrific.”

I pat myself on the back for that one.

COMO Heritage Festival this morning. Wiley was anxious to milk the cows.
COMO Heritage Festival this morning. Wiley was anxious to milk the cows.

Some other very Wiley quotes in the last month:

I told him, “your room is a mess, clean it up.”

His response, “it’s not a mess, it’s cool.”

I told him Grandad would love to have his help on the Wanch.
I told him Grandad would love to have his help on the Wanch.

While buckling him into his car seat, “Mom, I’m the coolest Wiley in the world.”

I responded, “yes you are son.”

This boy LOVES tractors.
This boy LOVES tractors.

Asking him to do something I want done…his response is, “no thanks, I’m going in time out.”

After being put into time out...he feel asleep.
Where’s Wiley?? After being put into time out…he fell asleep.

Typically, when the sun is out in the morning, Wiley will say with glee, “it’s a sunny day mom! It’s a good day!”

Two days ago, it was a little cloudy in the morning, he was a bit cranky when he woke up and I said, “it’s a good day Wiley!” His reply was, “no, it’s a rainy day.”

We sat and listened to the Pipers. Someday, we'll get Danny some bagpipes so he can serenade me.
We sat and listened to the Pipers. Someday we’ll get Danny some bagpipes so he can serenade me. Muy Romantico.

I’m a little weird, rainy days make me happy, as they remind me of England/Scotland.

What are the funny things the kids in your life say?

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